PHP functionphobs and doccomment fans

So in PHP functions are basically used in two cases: If the programmer doesn’t yet use OOP or if the script isn’t worth using OOP for. The notion of “helper function” or something like that does not seem to exist…(Reminder: Using classes does not mean your code is object-oriented!)

So true! But what really got me on this article, was this part:

Another tangentially related “standard” practice I feel badly about is the excessive use of doccomments. In most cases phpdoc comments just comment the obvious – at the same increasing the code size by a factor of two or three. I have no problem with doccomments where necessary, but in most cases (at least with well designed code) the behavior should be obvious from the method and parameter names.

Coming from a Perl camp and being a fan of Ruby for few years (still using them here and there), I start catching myself thinking that the world’s been taken over by crazyCamelCaseJavaProgrammers. I do understand that complex projects with huge (no, “huuuuuuuuge!” would be more appropriate here) codebase need concrete descriptive variables, but what happened with readable code? The less readable it becomes the more comments it generates. Sometimes the only expression you get after reading a doc file on the class is “Thanks, Captain Obvious!”. Commenting return statement with “return” comment, or “note: division by zero” and here it comes – division by zero.

I guess that I’m too picky on this one, but by the end of the day remember what this oldie:

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Code for readability.

Programming sucks: at its best

The only reason coders’ computers work better than non-coders’ computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don’t beat them when they’re bad.

Every single paragraph is amazing. This one cracked me up:

“Double you tee eff?” you say, and start hunting for the problem. You discover that one day, some idiot decided that since another idiot decided that 1/0 should equal infinity, they could just use that as a shorthand for “Infinity” when simplifying their code. Then a non-idiot rightly decided that this was idiotic, which is what the original idiot should have decided, but since he didn’t, the non-idiot decided to be a dick and make this a failing error in his new compiler. Then he decided he wasn’t going to tell anyone that this was an error, because he’s a dick, and now all your snowflakes are urine and you can’t even find the cat.

You’re using an outdated browser, please use Chrome

Going through, stumbled upon this nice source code:

<!--[if lt IE 7]>
<p class="chromeframe">You are using an <strong>outdated</strong> browser. Please <a href="">upgrade your browser</a> or <a href="">activate Google Chrome Frame</a> to improve your experience.</p>

Just out of curiosity, what would people heavily using IE do, if they’re offered Chrome. Ignore, or upgrade their IE?